- Dealing with the Surviving Parent
  1. Initially, offer lots of support. Visit and telephone regularly. Make sure to remember that the spouse had a very different relationship with the parent than you did.
  2. Encourage social contact. Getting out and spending time with friends is essential during this time. Even if your parent might feel too tired or depressed to go out, he or she must fight it. Include them in family gatherings, and encourage them to reconnect with old friends.
  3. Don’t suffocate them. Even though you may want to overwhelm them with support, widows have to learn to adjust to a new life as a single individual and regain confidence and independence.
  4. Discourage them from making big decisions. During the grieving process, a surviving parent should not make any major decisions, such as selling a home or changing jobs right after a spouse’s death. While mourning, someone might make a decision they will regret.
  5. Encourage doctor’s visits to oversee mental/physical health. Grieving is much harder when you are ill, and consequently, people in poor health are more susceptible to depression and illness. Make sure a widow understands the importance of health care and how to take all medications properly.
  6. Remember important dates in your parents’ relationship. Wedding anniversaries, birthdays, and anniversary of the parent’s death are days that will be painful and lonely. It is essential to offer support on these days.
  7. Keep them informed about supportive services. Most people benefit from one-on-one support with a grief counselor or from a support group where people can share their stories. Encourage your parent to take this step when they feel ready.
  8. Encourage them to get involved. As they progress through the stages of grieving, urge your surviving spouse to get involved in things they enjoy, such as travel, leisurely activities, or whatever might interest them.
  9. Beware of personality change. Your parent might undergo changes in personality based on the loss of a spouse. Do not resist this. Allow your parent to find out who they are as a single person.