Before I entered first grade, my parents divorced. I was young and didn’t really understand the new life I was thrown into. My mom and I moved out, and I was only able to see my dad every other weekend. I had been used to not seeing my dad very often, as he had been in the Navy. He eventually left the service to watch me grow up. Being able to only spend time with my dad on the weekends, we would make the most out of it – we went to amusement parks, played mini golf, and we’d make midnight runs for snacks. My dad was my best friend, and I was Daddy’s Girl. We’d parade around town in matching sweatshirts, and go to the local diner on Sunday’s for breakfast. My dad even helped make the other kids at school jealous by sending gorgeous flowers to my classroom every Valentine’s Day. My dad’s love for me has come to be the most powerful love I’ve ever witnessed. Only, I had no idea that this would all end before I even turned twelve years old.
Most of my time was spent living with my mom. One night in May 2002, mom had to do something no parent should ever have to. Just past 3AM, she opened my bedroom door and woke me up. Tears filled her eyes as she told me “Dad had a heart attack”. At that moment, I became wide awake and asked, “What hospital is he at? Mom took a moment to answer before saying “He’s in Heaven”.
It’s been seven years since that day. Losing my dad was the most devastating experience I’ve ever had to deal with. It was so completely unexpected and sudden. But I know for a fact I would not be the person I am today if he was never a part of my life. He taught me many valuable lessons, and even though I only knew him for eleven years I am so thankful that he was my dad. He will forever be my hero. Of course I wasn’t so thankful immediately, but I was lucky enough to have a non-profit organization called FRIENDS Way to help me through my grieving process. FRIENDS Way is a bereavement center for children and families dealing with the death of a loved one. I don’t know where I’d be without them. I found it difficult to talk about my loss with my friends from school, they didn’t understand. The support groups allowed me to realize that there are other people out there that feel the same way I do, and it also gave me a safe place to share these feelings. I continue to attend the group, but as the years went by my reason for going wasn’t just for myself – it was for the others who still needed help.
It was at a FRIENDS Way meeting that I first learned about AMF. There was a new chapter being started at my college. I knew this was something that I had to be a part of. I attended almost every meeting, although the group had just been started and not many students knew about it. Most of the time it would just be me, and the co-presidents Ariana and Debbie, who had been the ones to start the group. As the semester came to an end they asked me if I had any interest in taking over as president this fall, after they both graduated. I absolutely accepted. There’s still so much that needs to be done to get the group up and running. I’m excited to be a part of something so powerful. I hope I can help others by sharing my story, and I hope AMF will be able to help others as FRIENDS Way helped me. I miss my dad everyday, but I know he’s watching down on me. He always told me that life was short, and those are the words I try to live by. I will do everything in my power to make him proud.
Kaitlyn Bouchard
URI Chapter President