Bethany with her mom

Bethany, class of 2009
Toccoa Falls College

I was a sophomore in college when my mother died after fighting ovarian cancer for five and a half years. Even after having watched my mom battle cancer for so long, I was not prepared for her death. The absence of my mom in my life was overwhelming and I grieved hard. I had an incredible college community that did the best they could with a grieving college student, but even though the campus was small and caring, I still struggled with my grief. The first six months — I grieved hard. I lived away from my family while at school, so while they grieved together as a unit, I grieved alone. This was extremely difficult because we were so close as a family. Another thing that made my grief hard is that the college environment is not designed to help students who experience loss while in school. I felt so alone and at such a loss as to how to explain how I was feeling and how much my mom’s death had altered my life. Simply said, it was so difficult to focus on school. About six months after my mom passed away, I had stumbled across AMF’s website, but it seemed too overwhelming to start such a group at my school especially when I thought, ‘How can I lead such a group in my state of grief?’ I even spoke to David Fajgenbaum who was so encouraging and definitely seemed to understand my fear of leading an AMF group. I never felt pressured by David to lead an AMF group.

A year after my mom passed away, a transfer student, who I had never met, approached me. He said that he was interested in starting an AMF group and that David had given him my name. That random library encounter turned out to be one of the best encounters of my college career. We began a group that leaned more on the support group than the active, fund-raising side of AMF. Our group averaged about seven to eight students each week. The AMF group was so beneficial because it helped me explore and process through my grief in such a healthy way. In our AMF group, we discussed movies, books, friends, holidays, day-to-day life, and more as it related to our parents’ illness or death. I gained such a healthy perspective and so much healing —  through leading and participating in AMF.

My senior year of college, I had the opportunity to speak in front of our student body twice. Each time, I was able to share how my story and also how instrumental AMF — because of its support group system — is for a student who has experience loss in college. I am forever appreciative of AMF’s impact on my life. Our AMF group provided support, care, a listening ear, and a comfortable setting for me to understand that grieving is not a bad thing. And, that it is so healthy to process through my grief. I am a better person because of AMF.