Lucy with her dad

Lucy, class of 2010
Western Oregon University

I first came across Students of AMF several years ago while flipping through a Reader’s Digest magazine, but I never thought that I would become a part of it myself. One night in October 2008, three weeks into my junior year and my first term at Western Oregon University, I received a phone call from my Mom. I assumed that since she and my dad were coming to visit me at my new school the next day she was calling to tell me when they would be coming. Unfortunately the message she left me was that she thought my Dad had had a stroke and was on his way to the hospital. A few hours later we found out that he had suffered a severe hemorrhagic stroke and would need to be put in a medically induced coma. Three and a half weeks later, on November 11th, my Dad passed away.

I essentially sleepwalked through the rest of the term. At the beginning of Winter term, I snapped out of that numb state and was on the brink of dropping out of school. In desperation I went to the school Health and Counseling Center to find out what my options were. I was told that if I stayed there would support group starting in about two weeks. I never heard another word about it. Towards the end of the term, one of my roommates told me about a professor on campus who kept talking about wanting to start a chapter of Students of Ailing Mothers and Fathers on campus. I ended e-mailing Dr. Toray almost right away. Within the next month there were three of us ready to start our chapter.

I can’t even begin to say how much being a part of Students of AMF has helped me deal with my grief and influenced my life. I felt so alone and was ready to leave school completely, but getting involved with AMF changed everything. I’ve enjoyed my experience so much that I’m even looking into becoming a school counselor myself. I have met the most amazing people though the support group meetings and from attending the 2009 National Conference on College Student Grief. I’m very proud of our chapter and the contribution that we’ve made to the Western Oregon University campus so far. I encourage everyone who has a family member or friend that is dealing with a serious illness or has suffered a loss to get involved; it is so worth it.